


Forgiveness

by gray_autumn_sky



Series: Unraveled [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 11:32:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10535610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gray_autumn_sky/pseuds/gray_autumn_sky
Summary: A continuation for Unraveled and Acceptance; Regina finally understands she needs to forgive herself for her sins.





	

Regina closes her eyes and takes a breath, tears brimming as her hands body trembles.

She can feel the Queen’s presence–her darkness–spreading through her, cutting through her like a sharp blade. It started at her fingertips and spread up through her veins, pulsing through her as it filled her. Her chest clenched and her head fell back as it pierced her heart, stabbing at her core–and then, she felt a wave of relief wash over it.

Slowly, she breathed in and out–and the hollowness that she’d almost gotten used to was gone, filled in with all of the things she’d hoped to cut away when she’d ripped that part of herself out. And when her eyes open, Robin’s standing there–standing just in front of her with wide eyes and an open mouth. She can practically see his heart’s rapid beats and the thoughts of wonder racing through his head–and for a moment, she doesn’t quite understand because a moment ago, she’d been standing in the mirror, wrapping a towel around herself as she stood in the mirror, looking at a person she barely knew.

Swallowing hard, she looks at him, their eyes meeting–and he looks as dazed as she feels.

“What just happened?”

He blinks a couple of times and she wonders if he too could hear the change in her voice–and when a smile tugs onto his lips, she knows that he did. Taking a breath, he reaches for her hand, giving it a tight and victorious squeeze. “I think…. I think that was a True Love’s Kiss.”

Her fingers touch to her warm lips as she momentarily looks away and her chest flutters as she looks back to him. “You kissed the Evil Queen?”

“I kissed you.”

“And she… turned into me?”

“I… I think so,” he says, his voice a little unsure–but Regina nods and a smile begins to pull onto her lips and soft laugh escapes her. Taking a breath, her hand settles on her stomach and her eyes sink closed–and she feels a flicker of guilt over the relief she feels. “Regina, do you…”

“I can feel her,” she breathes out, the relief evident in her voice. “I feel like me again.”

“So, she’s…”

“A part of me again,” she says, feeling that once-familiar fire rising at her core–a fire she’s fought to keep tampered down and under control, but always manages to bubble up and remind her of who she is. Taking a breath, she steps forward and her arms fold around him. “Thank you,” she murmurs breathlessly, pressing herself against him. “Thank you for loving her,” she adds as he hugs her a little tighter–and once more, tears brim in her eyes.

She feels him nod before he steps back, laughing a little as he looks her up and down, then takes her face in hand, cupping her jaw as he stares into her eyes. “I missed you.”

“I… missed me, too,” she says, her voice a bit sheepish as she steps back and sits on the edge of the bed. “I never thought I would,” she admits. “You know, when I started to… try to figure all of this out, I just wanted her back inside of me so that she wouldn’t hurt anyone. I… I didn’t really want…”

Her voice trails off and he nods, understanding what she can’t quite admit out loud. She looks up at him a bit awkwardly as she fumbles with her hands and tries to collect her thoughts, trying to figure out what exactly it is that she’s feeling and how she can possible put that into words.

“Hey,” he breathes out. “How about I go warm up that tea and give you a minutes?”

“Thank you,” she nods. “I’d like that.”

He offers a warm smile before retreating into the hallway and down the stairs. Letting out a shallow breath, she falls back against the bed and stares up at the ceiling, and the tears that had been welling in her eyes, seep from the sides.

It’s hard for her to process what she’s feeling and even harder to process why she feels this way. It feels like relief, it feels like acceptance, and though she hadn’t realized it, for weeks, she’d been in mourning–she’d been mourning the piece of herself she’d long wanted to be rid of, the part of herself that caused so much pain and suffering, the part of herself that had gleefully done unthinkable things. She regretted cutting that part of herself out and whenever she’d closed her eyes, she saw her the heartbreak in her own eyes as she crushed the queen’s heart. At some point, she’d realized she’d done for everyone else–splitting herself had never been for her, it was about paying back a debt she’d owed in the only way she knew how.

Everyone told her she must have felt so relieved and she’d agreed that she was, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Though she hadn’t vocalized it, she’d accepted herself and her darkness–that didn’t mean she liked it, it was simply a part of her as much as any part was. She regretted the choices she’d made, she regretted hurting the people she’d hurt and, for a long time, she’d hated herself. But somewhere along the way, that changed–she’d worked through it and found ways to compartmentalize it. She’d taught herself to love again–first with Henry then with Robin–and she’d learned to channel the darkest parts of herself into something that most would agree was positive. She used it to fuel her determination and every desire, she used it to fight through things that seemed impossible; she used it to defend the town she’d built and to better the lives of those who depended on her, and she used to to protect her family–and slowly, she began to realize her darkness wasn’t all bad, she’s not even sure she can call darkness. That, whatever it was, could be used for good.

The only problem was, she’d realized all of that too late.

She lifts her head as Robin enters–and a smile tugs onto her lips as she pulls herself up and he sits down beside her and hands her the tea. She takes it and her fingers rub against the hot porcelain mug–he’d been the only person who hadn’t had to learn the hard way. She takes a breath and sips the tea, and smile as his arm stretches around her shoulders–she doesn’t have to thank him, he already knows.

Her eyes sink closed as she breathes in the honey and lavender of the tea–and she knows that it’s finally time to move on–to leave the past in the past and finally forgive herself.


End file.
